愛上一個天使的缺點

7:31PM - disturbing

a phd holder said this to me:

"That place [serangoon gardens] is a quaint neighbourhood and the presence of foreign workers would mar the landscape."

if such views are representative of the educated in singapore, then i think there is no hope for our society.

(i mean... i only expect such statements from nancy!)

7:33PM - what is a theory?

nus ellers are going to like this:

8:22PM - i think im in love

7:09PM - therapeutic my ass

what good is therapy if you come out feeling shittier than when you went in?

5:23PM - this is the kind of stupidity i have to put up with

unedited for your private pleasure.

( stupid student )

9:57PM - lies

you only see what your eyes want to see
how can life be what you want it to be

i just realised the extent of my lying to myself, when i saw a pattern in my social circles: the people that i tend to avoid are those that accept and live life as it is, in its ugly glory, whereas those that i stick with, are just like me, and like to pull a veil over their own eyes, and see only what they want to see.

reality is just too cruel for me to deal with - there's just too much negativity. and that's why i can't deal with people who try to make me see the world without my rose tinted glasses, no matter how sincere or well-meaning they may be. on the flip side, those who adopt my ideology of lies seem to be easier to be around, even if they are artificial and superficial. living in the pretty world that exists only in my mind.

don't be surprised if i end up one day like one of those loonies that you see walking along the streets, living entirely in their own world.

4:49PM - waking up

i keep waking up thinking that i'm at home, in singapore.

3:17PM - 阿布與郭鑫同志出櫃

this is sooooo sweet. though i think that as cute as ahbu may be, his drinking habits prolly make him a less-than-ideal-bf.

( ahbu & guoxin  )

8:48AM - asspirations

 dreams and aspirations are construed too narrowly in singapore... wanting to lead a simple life should not be derided as being without ambition. one should be able to go around proclaiming proudly that his/her ambition is to be a whatever-i-wanna-be-which-you shouldn't-judge-because-it's-none-of-your-business. stop telling our kids to dream big. that's just telling them to dream your dreams. 

8:51PM - i couldnt stop crying

thanks mightymouse for sharing

10:07PM - micromanagement

i cunt believe that i'm being micromanaged.

and this is the same advisor who sings high praises about me during the yearly evaluations; the same advisor who, when i raise my eyebrow at his high expectations, said "i have no reason to suspect otherwise, given your performance so far".

and now he's breathing down my neck over something that is due 8 months down the road.

my colleague said working with an advisor is like being in a relationship - you need to talk things out. maybe that's why i'm not in a relationship. i just need my own space.

4:42PM - insult

i would be supremely insulted if any of my friends were to think that i no longer am interested in their problems, simply because i'm facing one myself.

i may no longer have the capacity to help you out as much, but that doesn't mean i won't be here to listen.

11:11AM

12:51AM - summer heat part 2

it was so hot, i puked. or maybe it was cos i attended a church wedding.

5:15PM - summer heat

omg i'm getting a headache from the heat, and i can empathise with how raisins must have felt before they became that. i can feel every single cell in my body drying up.

9:33PM - sleep dammit

bought a humidifier and a huge velvety bolster. hope i can finally get to sleep.

i want my chouchou...

4:04AM - words of wisdom

/ under the apple tree / says (3:54 AM):
i just watched one show
/ under the apple tree / says (3:54 AM):
in the show
/ under the apple tree / says (3:55 AM):
they say, if u cannot let go of the past
/ under the apple tree / says (3:55 AM):
den dun let go
leslie@sd 喎 says (3:55 AM):
 n like me forever live in guilt and regret
/ under the apple tree / says (3:55 AM):
use it as the strength to venture into the future
/ under the apple tree / says (3:55 AM):
no lar
/ under the apple tree / says (3:57 AM):
as in
/ under the apple tree / says (3:57 AM):
u know they say that ur dad is always the lightpost in ur life?
/ under the apple tree / says (3:58 AM):
my dad is the whole day do nothing type
/ under the apple tree / says (3:58 AM):
can get a better job but he dun want
/ under the apple tree / says (3:59 AM):
always think of easy way out
leslie@sd 喎 says (3:59 AM):
i very shocked actually when u said your dad was gangster
/ under the apple tree / says (3:59 AM):
haha
/ under the apple tree / says (3:59 AM):
ya lar
leslie@sd 喎 says (3:59 AM):
how come gangster can get this kind of good son
/ under the apple tree / says (3:59 AM):
cos i take him as my guiding post
/ under the apple tree / says (3:59 AM):
i run far far away from it
/ under the apple tree / says (3:59 AM):
haha
leslie@sd 喎 says (3:59 AM):
lol
/ under the apple tree / says (4:00 AM):
ya lor... so i think the lightpost thing is true
leslie@sd 喎 says (4:00 AM):
so shld avoid him huh
/ under the apple tree / says (4:00 AM):
no lar
/ under the apple tree / says (4:00 AM):
not avoid
/ under the apple tree / says (4:00 AM):
the good things can learn
/ under the apple tree / says (4:01 AM):
but the bad stuff, they are there so that u are constantly reminded not to choose that path lor

9:09PM

sleeping my days away and spending my nights awake.

8:05AM - dumblydore

i am dumbledore being forced to drink in the cave with the lake of inferi, just in order to get to the horocrux.

3:04PM - my favourite fruit

i dont think i have seen anyone, much less an angmoh, describe the durian as beautifully as this:

" The five cells are silky-white within, and are filled with a mass of firm, cream-coloured pulp, containing about three seeds each. This pulp is the edible part, and its consistence and flavour are indescribable. A rich custard highly flavoured with almonds gives the best general idea of it, but there are occasional wafts of flavour that call to mind cream-cheese, onion-sauce, sherry-wine, and other incongruous dishes. Then there is a rich glutinous smoothness in the pulp which nothing else possesses, but which adds to its delicacy. It is neither acid nor sweet nor juicy; yet it wants neither of these qualities, for it is in itself perfect. It produces no nausea or other bad effect, and the more you eat of it the less you feel inclined to stop. In fact, to eat Durians is a new sensation worth a voyage to the East to experience. ... as producing a food of the most exquisite flavour it is unsurpassed."

- from The Malay Archipelago, by Alfred Russel Wallace (19th-century British naturalist), written during his travels to the region in the 1850's and 1860's